Crap Effect

Finally I decided to buy Mass Effect 3 and I thought I'd take this opportunity to share with my audience (i.e. me) my initial impressions of the game:

It sucks.

I don't know how often the damn servers go down, but it is apparently frequent enough for there to have been several months backlog of forum posts complaining about it. I am aware that most people started complaining about the ending almost immediately (haven't got anywhere near that myself), and apparently Bioware responded with a free DLC to extend the ending - and you need to access the EA servers to validate this FREE extra content. You also need to be constantly connecting to their servers for cloud storage and every time you return to the main menu; in my case this has been frequent, as I took the opportunity to try the multi-player while the servers were running, only to have the game crash once after I tried to make my first character and twice more after I'd managed to play - not finish - for a few minutes and losing all the XP and credit I had earned...

Incidentally, multi-player seems to be necessary for you to have a chance at getting the best ending in the single player... WHY? I don't object to the notion of multi-player, and what little I was able to play of it so far seems like fun. But why make it a critical part of the single player story? Does Bioware hate people who like to enjoy a story based game that they can play on their own without being subjected to forced contact with other entities?

I will suggest that yes, Bioware hates their customers; how dare they pay money and expect to be able to play the game on their own! The very idea is absurd.

I haven't advanced very far into the single player either, but so far it's not really engaging me like the previous two did. Perhaps there was a shift to focus on the multi-player at the expense of the single player, in which case I might not care that I can't save the whole galaxy because it's not worth fighting for. Certainly doesn't seem worth paying full price for as yet - I'm glad I didn't.

ADDENDUM

Reaching the extraction for the first time on a silver challenge to have the game crash seems to be part of an ongoing attempt by the game to make me want to kill everyone involved in its creation. This is not a new experience; the game crashes randomly during play, even in single player. I now hate Bioware for this garbage that they seem to enjoy unleashing upon their paying customers. Never buy anything from them ever again, it will enable you to maintain your sanity, if only a little.

ADDITIONAL ADDENDUM

As far as the single player is concerned - meh. Most irritating point was the fight against Kai Leng on Thessia - a boss fight that you are meant to lose. So if you die, you fail; if you win, or at least deplete his shields, he knocks you on your ass and then leaves you crawling out of the rubble. Stupid idea. As for what I imagine was the issue with the ending - would you rather have another stupid boss fight? Did you not like the idea of being able to make a choice other than where to aim your gun?

And multi-player - EA obviously feels like they haven't made enough money or that they're running over budget, because the servers are unreliable at best, and waiting five minutes for the main menu to load up after waiting five minutes trying to load the multi-player means that it's quicker and easier to Ctrl+Alt+Del and click "end task". Whoever is in charge of those servers - you're doing it wrong.

ADDITIONAL ADDITIONAL

Must connect to servers to access online content like single player DLC and FREE multi-player DLC, which it can't validate at the moment even when it can connect to the servers. This game came out in March and you incompetent morons still haven't fixed it, and this constant connection is required as a countermeasure to piracy which only irritates your paying customers because the pirates find a way around it anyway. You make a profit off of what you sell and you think you're losing money to piracy? You're driving people to it, at least a pirated copy is playable.

And back to the single player... what an ending that was incredibly stupid (only seen the "synthesis" ending so far). I wonder if there was a different set of writers involved. And all of those decisions that added up over the series amount to maybe one mission relating to it in ME3. And there are still only three endings? I suppose you can have a variance in the final battle depending on the resources and assets you've acquired, but only three endings? Plus they were lying when they said you could carry over a save from ME2 where Shepard died, because I couldn't. Probably because everyone died in that one, Garrus and Tali seem to be essential for the story in ME3.

Stupid as it was though, I've seen worse. Anyone ever play Fahrenheit (AKA Indigo Prophecy)? Also had three endings, which branched from decisions made right near the end of the game, rather than a summation of all activity up to that point. And there was a mechanic in play where you had to keep the characters from becoming too stressed, but when it comes time for a decision with one character - leave with his girlfriend or stay and work the case - you must leave with the girlfriend, otherwise it's game over, go back and make that decision the way you were supposed to. And the first scene requires hiding the bloody knife, only to have a requirement that you find it again as the detective... Why bother? (Plus it wasn't even finished when it shipped).

I know programming and coding must be difficult, but when the supposed professionals make so many mistakes, it seems like they're never learning anything.

FREE EXTRA CONTENT

So if you killed the rachni queen in Mass Effect, you didn't kill it for the purposes of Mass Effect 3. Also, if you recommend Anderson as Councillor, that only endures for Mass Effect 2, as he returns to the navy and Udina becomes Councillor. Again, for the purposes of Mass Effect 3. Way to kill the illusion of agency, Bioware. I don't want to know how many more "choices" turn out this way; why bother? And going to all this trouble with the rachni results in them providing one of many, many assets for the war effort, meaning that it could have been left out if the rachni queen died. But then again, the mission features Grunt, which also means that he's probably another one of those "must survive Mass Effect 2" characters. Weird, considering that you didn't even have to let him out of the tank in the first place. That would make for an awkward conversation...

MORE FREE EXTRA CONTENT

Random crashes, connection issues, poor writing, these things we start to expect from big game developers, because they suck at their job and the publishers don't give them enough time or resources to fix their many, many mistakes. But at some point in the development of Mass Effect 3, they decided that the PC version should play like a console game and designated the space bar as the all-in-one button. Use space for sprinting, dodging, taking cover, vaulting cover, activating objects, picking up objects and reviving teammates. The PC keyboard has lots of keys, guys. You don't need to make it like a control pad.

And on those rare occasions when the multi-player servers are working, there is this odd chance occurrence of placing you in a game that doesn't match your search parameters; like placing you in a gold level game when searching for bronze or silver. The AI has enough BS on its side, you don't need to make it tougher than it already is.

EVEN MORE FREE EXTRA CONTENT

I cannot overstate the nuisance of the EA server problem. If it's an issue with the servers being overloaded then EA only has themselves to blame for forcing the game to re-validate itself and all DLC every single time it starts up. Why should anyone pay you for the privilege of not being able to play the game when they could play it for free AND gain the satisfaction of denying you a sale? I have validated my copy of Mass Effect 3 at least 50 times since I purchased it, and the only DLC I have for it are FREE! If I haven't already mentioned it, I'll say it here - the only money you lose to piracy is the money you spend on anti-piracy measures. The pirates will find a way around your copy protection, and they were never going to give you their money in the first place.

And Origin? You want to keep a larger slice of the profit for yourself yet you don't want to spend all that outlay and preparations for support that others go to (let's face it: they envy Steam). Origin prices aren't cheaper, they still have the same mark-up, but more of it goes to EA, and less goes to the customer.

Also of note is the behaviour of game publishers compared to other industries. White goods, electronics, vehicles - all are sold (new) with warranties; games, we get the End User License Agreement. Nowhere is there any mention of the responsibility of the publisher to ensure their product works and is supported - all we have is some bitching about piracy and how everyone paying for their games should expect less for their money. If publishers are under no obligation to provide a functioning product, I don't see why the customer is under any obligation to pay for it.

In conclusion (because it would just be even more complaining about the same topic if it continues):

FUCK YOU, ELECTRONIC ARTS!

MUST HAVE LAST WORD

My previous conclusion bears some revision - all of a sudden there are no connection issues and I can play at any time of day. Hooray you might think, but no. The game can't stop crashing every 5-10 minutes, so a further FUCK YOU to the people responsible for not fixing this game even though it's been out for 10 FUCKING MONTHS - you are worthless and incompetent, and I hate you.

Die in a fire.

The Meaning of No Life

So when someone asks "what do you want out of life?" I find the only real response (other than lots of money and attractive women ready to do my bidding) was that I wanted to not die.

Kind of lame if you ask me, which I did. You didn't, obviously. Anyway I swear that if I knew with absolute certainty that I would not die, I would totally be a slightly different person.

More later (or never, whichever comes first).

Clearly not working

Months apart, there is no hope for readership if there is no authorship - if that's even a word, I still don't have a dictionary. That was part of the idea (since it was never close to being a plan), create language related rants, sociological rants, philosophical rants - basically ranting. And maybe reviews, as at the time the idea occurred I actually had three brand new games that I would've been able to prattle on about in order to get some hits on search engines and maybe make money from advertising, which you'll be able to see a few posts down as there was really nothing to talk about or at the very least nothing that could motivate me in the slightest to actually apply the effort required to begin let alone complete something that others would consider to be worthwhile reading material that might possibly provoke some semblance of thought or even a little amusement that would idle away a few minutes of an otherwise boring dull tedious monotonous repetitive... awake time... You don't have to read this during the day after all...

Well at least so far I've avoided filling the screen with swear words.